I'd had a conversation a few months back with an acquaintance about another mutual acquaintance. We were discussing the second person's priorities in choosing whom to date. It seems that this woman is pretty driven. She'd gone on a couple of dates with a guy that did social service work. Didn't really think that anything would come of it, but decided to give the guy a chance anyway. Or something like that. The way it was explained to me, this woman was much more likely to date a guy that headed charities than to be with someone that worked for them.
As I said, this woman is pretty driven. It was said that she was such a strong-willed, motivated person that she needs to find a mirror in the guy she's with. She's afraid that if she dates someone who isn't a match for her will, she'd just end up walking all over him.
Which strikes me as a load of bullshit.
Any woman that would be that strong-willed surely wouldn't need a guy to keep her in check, no? If this person were as strong-willed and motivated as she's said to be, one would have to assume that the discipline and motivation to treat others well would come from within her. Obviously, this isn't the case.
Kind of seems that either she's really not that concerned with treating others well or she's really not that strong-willed. The two things don't seem to work in conjunction, though.
And the whole going on a couple of dates with someone that you know you don't see yourself with? Kind of asinine. I'm sure you'd get some story about how she was giving the guy a chance. Doesn't sound like much of a chance at all. Letting him down easy? Sounds more like getting someone's hopes up before you let them fall. The guy asks for a chance and gets pity instead. Doesn't seem to be much kind about that.
I was waiting on a twelve top once in San Francisco. It was a birthday party for a woman at the table. One of her friends started talking about a guy that had asked her out a couple of times. She'd explained to him that she was going on vacation and wouldn't be around for a couple of months. She hoped, she said, that he'd have move on by the time she came back.
If I were that guy, I'd probably spend a couple of months looking forward to a chance to spend time with someone I dug. I mentioned that to her. Received a couple of sighs from the table. And then the woman told me that she didn't want the guy to think she was a bitch. Something tells me that that won't work too well. There's nothing polite about offering things you have no intention of proffering.
That's not politeness.
It's just passive-aggression.
