Words.

As I've noted before, some days words come more easily than others.  Today is another one of the other days.  But I'm going to force myself to sit and put something in, if only for the formation of the habit. 

It's kind of hard to express what I feel on days like today.  It's not a complete aphasia.  It's more like being lost in a sea of words.  As if all of the options are too much and it's impossible to find one's way amongst them.  Talk about this?  Talk about that?  Does this tie in here?  Or over there? 

When I was in my early teens, I'd been sitting at an Uncle's house watching the news with a couple of my cousins.  The weatherman had just announced that there was a 50% chance of snow the next day.  Two of my cousins started to argue about whether or not it would snow.  After a few minutes they turned to me and asked my opinion.  I just sort of shrugged. 

They didn't get that at all.  Told me that it was ridiculous to not have an opinion on the matter.  I still don't get their side of it.  How would I know?  Maybe it will snow.  Maybe it won't.  Why would I have an opinion on the matter?

Words can be like that for me.  Maybe.  Maybe not?  Who knows. 

I'm always kind of dumbfounded by how little of life we know.  And concurrently, how much of it passes us by in only the most glancing fashion.  You know, like that girl that you dated that one summer when your family went to the shore for the summer.  Or the person in college that you thought you'd be friends with forever.  Think of all of the books you've read.  All of the songs you've ever heard.  All of the movies you've ever seen.  All of the passing acquaintances that you've ever made.  All of the shit that you haven't even realised you'd forgotten about (a friend pointed me to some music that he'd put together with some others in the mid-90's.  Their band was called Green Lane.  I really don't think I've thought of Green Lane Reservoir Park in about a decade.  To the point that I didn't even realise that I hadn't thought about it in a decade.)

And then think of how small that is in comparison to what is out there. 

Everyone always likes to check their tastes and knowledge against those Top 100 lists.  Top 100 albums of all time.  The Greatest 100 books of the 20th century.  I normally post above average on those sorts of things.  But that's not even remotely close to touching the tip of the iceberg.  It's kind of dumbfounding how small we are in comparison to the world around us.  And the funny thing about those lists?  Almost no two of them will ever be the same.  You could probably get the same group of people to make the same list five years running, and have them change their minds.  I know any time I encounter one of those "notes" on FaceBook, it's a different list each time.  And not necessarily because we've decided that a new idea has knocked an old favorite off.

It's kind of funny to suppose that we know the world around us.  Very often, I'm not even sure I know myself.

Who knows?